It’s so easy to be judgmental, particularly if you’ve come from a family like mine who had narrow visions of life, love and especially sex. It’s so easy to be judgmental that often we don’t even know we are. I was in a 15 year marriage and thought I was very liberal-minded.
For me to open my mind sexually I needed to want a change in my life very badly. I decided I wasn’t willing to continue life with a limited sex drive and no satisfaction. I was fortunate that I asked the right person (my urologist, a woman) for information and that she was willing and able to give it. I could have asked a different doctor and received an entirely different response.
The interesting thing for me about opening up my mind was that the more I opened it, the more exciting sex became. Anything was possible! That didn’t mean every idea that was brought up to me or that I might have stumbled upon was desirable or comfortable. But it was a choice, and that was new, and exhilarating.
If you are not satisfied, either from solo sex or sex with a partner, or not having any kind of sex, perhaps you can ask yourself “am I a closed-minded individual disguising myself as open-minded? Could I possibly be depriving myself of exciting sex because I say ‘no’ to too many ideas or opportunities?'” One good thing about Judgments is that they can be lifted, and what’s underneath could be a fun surprise, a whole new you willing to experiment sexually in ways you had not thought of before. Joy awaits!